i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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