also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
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My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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