How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
