all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
