I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
