I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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