You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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