like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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