Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I understand Curling. That high.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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