imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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