I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
you never un-have a 4some
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