No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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