I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The air taste purple.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
