She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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