I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
