why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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