Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
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