If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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