Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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