You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I wish I only lived at night.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
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I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
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The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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