I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
