I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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