why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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