I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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