I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
