Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
