he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
