Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize