So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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