so explain again why im purple
no
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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