She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
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it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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