id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize