Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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