New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
