I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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