Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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