So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
