ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize