this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
