So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
MIDGETS
????
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
