His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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