dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
