I wish i was in the wii world.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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