i think i have herpe
just one?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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