its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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