I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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