So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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