Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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