There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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