Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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