I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
