well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
