Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
