So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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