is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Randomize
