Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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