I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
