I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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