Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.